The Flip Side of Spiritual Accountability….
Last night I had a pretty strange dream where I was rebuking my mother for some behavior she was exhibiting. What I said to her and how I said it, regardless of how true it was, resulted in her walking away from me, getting in her car and driving away. When I woke up I instantly assumed that I should intercede for my mom that God would surround her with some spiritual accountability and soften her heart so that she would receive it.
Once I went into my prayer closet and begin to meditate on the meaning of the dream and seek understanding in God’s word, the Lord began to reveal to me that the dream was actually about me. I am the one who needed some rebuke and correction.
In the same dream that I had about my mom, moments before I confronted her; I was in the backseat of a car with an unknown gentleman and I began punching him in his head and face because he had done something that angered me. Then I proceeded to go and tell my mother that her behavior (for whatever she did) was not lady like or Christ like. If that wasn’t a prime example of hypocrisy I don’t know what is!!!
The Holy Spirit convicted me for being self-righteous and hypocritical all in the name of “SpIritUal aCouNtAbiLtY”
The truth of the matter is: spiritual accountability does not mean spiritual control!
As fellow believers we can’t micro-manage someone into righteousness or obedience to God.
Don’t get me wrong; having accountability for your spiritual life works, I’m a witness.
Just over the past weekend I was about to make a big mistake regarding a relational issue. I called my accountability partner and they were able to advise me, correct me and encourage me all in one conversation. I know that interaction saved me from doing something outside of God’s will. But the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that spiritual accountability is only effective under certain criteria:
Humility- Paul tells us in Romans 12:3 “don’t think we are better than we really. Be honest in our evaluation of ourselves, measuring ourselves by the faith God has given us”
It’s easy to believe that we have the answers to help someone with their problem or their relationship with God. It’s much harder to admit that we may not be qualified to advise someone about their issue because we are also struggling in our faith walk. James 4:10 says “Humble yourselves with an attitude of repentance and insignificance in the presence of the Lord and He will exalt you. He will life you up, He will give you purpose. When we approach others from a level of “fellow believer” instead of teacher or preacher it is easier for others to relate to us and receive us. Notice I said “easier” not guaranteed.
Relationship - Anyone who has been close to me over the past 2 years can tell you that I am very zealous about helping people connect and serve God. Unfortunately my zeal sometimes backfires when I don’t honor people’s boundaries or wait for them to ask me for help. When God leads a person to seek help/guidance, He will soften their heart to receive it and lead them to the person that He wants to use to help them. James 4:8 says when we draw near to God, He will draw near to us but when we try to hold people accountable without their request there will most likely be no grace for your efforts.
Reflect Jesus- Based on my own experience with spiritual accountability and what I have witnessed from it, I understand that people are looking for a natural manifestation of Jesus. We want Jesus to come sit with us and tell us what to do. So as spiritual accountability partners we should serve in that capacity for our fellow believers.
When Jesus interacted with sinners during his ministry on earth he never treated them judgmentally. He handled them with grace and love. I know many believers including myself who judge other people for what they are doing or not doing. And although we use the word of God as the standard and not our own standard of Holiness, the Bible still instructs us against judging others based on the law of God in James 4:11-12
“Believers, do not speak against or slander one another. He who speaks self-righteously against a brother or judges his brother hypocritically, speaks against the law and judges the law. If you judge the Law, you are not a doer of the Law but a judge of it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and to destroy, the one God who has the absolute power of life and death; but who are you to hypocritically or self-righteously pass judgement on your neighbor?”
According to the word of God will don’t have the right to judge/condemn people for not obeying God. But thankfully the Holy Spirit has given us strategy for being effective, loving, and honorable spiritual accountability partners.
Share the Word of God: When advising/encouraging others on spiritual matters it is best to share the word of God instead of your opinion/perspective. Opinions change and perspectives can be argued but the word of the Lord stands forever.
Give your testimony, not your judgement: Hearing how the Lord has came through for someone else will strengthen the faith of another person, but trying to produce conviction in someone can possibly push them away from God. (Conviction is the responsibility of the Holy Spirit, our job is to love). Testifying will display humility.
Pray/Intercede for others: Prayer is our super power! Ephesians 6:18 says “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and BE PERSISTANT IN YOUR PRAYERS FOR ALL BELIEVERS EVERYWHERE!” Never doubt the power of a sincere intercession. Also displays humility!
I no longer want to be a self righteous hypocrite in my work for the Lord, neither do I want to push people away from Him by poorly reflecting Him. If you feel the same way let’s commit to reflecting Jesus and operating in love and humility in our service to the Lord.